The Outcast Kings

Mouse's Log: Have a Nice Trap

My last trip out into the fields, I was accompanied only by Krom and Mikmek. Everyone else was otherwise occupied, though I’m not sure how. Probably screwing around as usual.

The first thing we found was a river. Nothing exciting. I thought about swimming, but I didn’t want to strip in front of Krom. More importantly, I didn’t want him to strip in front of me. I almost wish we had gone swimming now, and tired ourselves out. Maybe we would have stopped adventuring long enough for some of our friends to join us. Maybe we could have avoided the disasters that followed.

No use speculating now, I guess…

To start our merry descent into despair, we heard a scream. I heroically dashed to the rescue — or I would have, had there been something to rescue. Instead I found something with stag hooves, a lions body, and a badger’s head. What the hell. I thought to leave it alone at first and keep searching for the woman that had screamed, but it turned out that the chimera or whatever it was had made the sound. When we approached it, it ran, so we pursued. I had a bad feeling once we came to the cliff, but we continued anyway.

None of us really wanted to climb up the cliff, so the first thing we tried was to pile on top of each other. Krom was our base, then I stood on his shoulders, and Mikmek climbed up on top of me. I was all right to begin with, but as soon as Mikmek got up, that was the end of our little human pyramid. So after a bit of arguing (and rubbing our backsides), Mikmek and I convinced Krom to climb up and toss down a rope. He made it, somewhat unsteadily, and the two of us ascended with ease. Which is nice, because I’m a terrible climber under most circumstances. Even with ropes.

At the top of the cliff, we found the strange beast and it attacked us. We danced around it. Then we danced around its corpse. Krom is a surprisingly good teammate when he’s willing to cooperate.

Later on we ran into another owlbear. We defeated it one easily with the power of friendship. (That’s not even a joke. We were getting really good at the whole teamwork thing.)

Standard fare so far for this place. The real problem came when we came across some ruins. They looked like they had been created by elves, so naturally, I was curious. But I thought perhaps we should wait to explore them, maybe come back with a bigger party. But Krom, greedy as he is, suggested we just take a peek. He said there might be treasure inside, so I agreed to take a look as well. But as soon as we got in, the door slammed shut. The two of us managed to dodge the iron bars, but they hit Mikemek and impaled him. I used the one potion I’d been saving on him, but it didn’t do much. I would need it later, but thinking back, I don’t think it would have done much good anyway.

The first thing we decided to do was try and get out of there. Neither Krom nor I could find anything that might open the door, so we decided to pry it open. Luckily there was a log we could use. Not so luckily, Krom broke it and I had to go grab another one. But as I dragged it back, something stabbed me. Before I could even try and find whatever bastard got me, the poison he’d inflicted me with took effect. Next thing I knew, I was lying on a bed, almost completely naked, and tied up. Which normally wouldn’t be awful, but Krom was there too, and I was almost dead.

I took a quick look around the room, and found Krom chained to the wall. Thinking we were both done for, I gave him a weak smile. “Hey Krom… How’s it hanging?” I asked.

He didn’t appreciate the joke.

Knowing my sense of humour wouldn’t be the thing that got us out of there, I tried wiggling out of the ropes around my wrists. It worked, and soon my ankles were free too. There was no way Krom could have gotten out of his shackles like that though, so I looked around for something that could pick the locks. I ended up finding some really old thieves’ tools that managed to get one of the locks undone, and Krom was able to pull the other one out of the wall on his own.

Once we were both free to move, we came up with a plan to escape. We agreed that Krom would go through the small door to distract whatever had thrown us in here, while I had to attempt to climb up to the window and get out and find help. He left, and somewhat nervously (I think I mentioned I’m not much of a climber), I scurried my way up to the window’s edge. It was quite a fall from there, so instead of risking climbing down, I decided to take an even bigger risk and just jumped. As usual, my gambling paid off, and I managed to gracefully flip out the window and land on a wall unscathed. I did this again to get to the ground. From there, I ran.

It took two days, but I finally managed to reach our city and get help. I was starving, dehydrated, dirty, bloody, and naked, but I made it to Wyn’s court. I don’t remember seeing anything but her as I burst through the doors, crying her name. She didn’t question my tears, wounds, or nudity. Truly she is a wonderful friend.

I brought her back to the ruins to hopefully save Krom and Mikmek. I thank all the gods that both of them were alive, even if just barely. So Wyn did what she could for them. Unfortunately, Krom was left with a limp, and Mikmek can’t walk on one of his legs at all. Both of them have officially retired from adventuring as of this journal being written. Once again I was lucky and got out relatively unscathed.

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