The Outcast Kings

Theod's Log - One Year Later...

Similar to my last entry in this journal, my time has been monopolized to the point at which taking the time to write about every mindless act of foolishness and argumentation brought about by our merry band of idiots.

I don’t quite know what to say of myself over the past year, since Wyn essentially locked us all within the gates of Wynnys or whatever. I’ve done my best to keep the city together as Magister. The unfortunate thing about being automatically elected Magister is that, beyond my own inexperience, the fact that any students I DO receive are inbred yokels incapable of breathing with their mouths closed. I still remember the time I asked one student to close his mouth for a few seconds, only for him to nearly suffocate. How am I expected to create a magical academy with such plebeians? Regardless, I press on.

Much to my humiliation, I’ve resorted to spending my time teaching children simple mathematics, grammar, what science I know, etc. I have become a glorified babysitter. I’m sure my siblings take great pleasure whenever they scry my activities. This is not what I left the academy for. I intended to show the world that magic is meant for those of intellect and cunning, not for pyromaniacs and glory-hounds (e.g. my family). I’m not actually fulfilling my goals by tending to children and simpletons.

Speaking of simpletons, I’m becoming quite irritated with our “Glorious General” Krom. Statues of him line dot the town. I can’t believe his misplaced vanity. NONE OF US have really done anything worthy of a statue. The townsfolk seem to buy into the idea that Krom is some kind of war hero, but I’m fairly certain the man knows nothing of military tactics. The Kobolds are especially fond of his gaudy statues, perhaps to the point of worship. I ought to talk to Mouse about investigating whether or not Krom is inadvertently inspiring some kind of dangerous cult of personality. Krom cannot know about such an investigation, I couldn’t stomach being subjected to another cacophonous ballad inflating his ego.

What else is there to say? A few months ago, I was idly experimenting with the potential applications of Color Spray. This led to some silly rumours spreading that I was making some grand announcement of a new form of illusory magic. It took months before the slew of persons arriving slowed, each seeking to uncover some new form of arcane theory. I guess it was nice to speak with individuals capable of literacy and magical competence for a change, especially those interested in illusions. I guess I inadvertently invented a variation of Color Spray capable of creating amusing light displays? Anything to please the masses, I guess. It’s nice to receive some adoration for a change. On the other hand, Krom is forcing me to use my innovation to spice up his parades and poetry readings. a doodle of Krom being eating by a large bird can be seen on the margins of the page

The town’s growth continues to surprise me. We now have a bank, a mint, a pier, a market… still no actual facilities for which I could properly teach the arcane arts (the makeshift classroom by the stables is still undergoing repairs after that horse kicked its hoof through the wall. We seem to attract plenty of races. Half-breeds, kobolds, halfings, dwarves, etc. We don’t see many gnomes for some reason. Peculiar. Mikmek and Chief Sootscale have petitioned the creation of a Kobold district within the city. I already used my “colour works” to entertain a kobold festival, so there is certainly enough of a demographic to support such a request. To be perfectly honest, I’m not a fan of this proposal. I have nothing against kobolds, but frankly the sound of hissing and screeching I am subjected to already is enough as it is. Furthermore, I’m beginning to suspect that Mikmek is much more cunning and ruthless than we let on. Mikmek is already running around with his kobold secret police. Isa and Mouse are still under the impression that he is, quote, a “cute wittle babby.” The previous statement was then punctuated with vomit being projected across the room onto an unsuspecting elf. I’m not going to lie, it was quite amusing.

The town itself has remained relatively safe. The odd wolf and bandit attacks have caused some concern, but if there’s anything my cohorts are good at its swiftly and violently killing the Divine’s creations. We have been experiencing dry conditions, culminating in a drought and a forest fire. We were able to overcome both issues relatively easily, the latter being resolved with some clever application of Obscuring Mist. Conditions have improved recently, apparently because our druid appealed to the ghosts or something.

We’ve been getting a few interesting visitors recently. A Prince came to visit our idyllic domain. I oddly knew nothing about him, his lands, or his lineage. I never got to inquire precisely where he was from, as one of his court mages seemed determined to intercept me with conversation on magical theory (my bane, I know; how could I resist such succor?). He seemed quite smitten with Wyn, horns and all. His entourage brought much business to the town, so how could I object? Hopefully a beneficial pact of friendship arises from such dealings.
Oh, a shop selling jerky opened. Pretty tasty jerky, if I dare say.

Speaking of visitors, my horrid family came to visit. They feigned interest in my exploits and mocked me with insincere praise. My father said he has “always been proud of me,” but I know better, the cruel bastard. They then used their magic to build a park. Lousy show-offs. I was happy when they ceased hugging me and left, fake tears filling their eyes. I hate them.

Svetlana gave birth to a wonderful baby boy! Dimitri, his name is. Cute kid. She held me hold the dear boy. I saw a lot of myself in the boy. Handsomeness, mostly. I pray the child grows into a healthy young man with a bright future. Not much more to say on that topic.

An issue arose involving Isa and Mouse going missing. I was sent to go look for them, seeing how Wyn is running the cities day-to-day affairs, Wahka is busy routing out insurrection, and Krom was posing for the ninth painting that week. I found them, drunk, in the Mite’s tree lair and… to be frank, I’d care not to say more of what happened. That was a silly happenstance and no one must know of it.

Not much else to say of the last year, really. I guess, in retrospect, the ‘academy’ has been doing reasonably well. Lessons on illusory magic seem to be well-received. I still am often forced to care for children and those with subpar intellect, but I’m at least finding myself attached to the children. Our experiment is quickly becoming a runaway success, but I am concerned with the growing kobold presence. I hope it is not prejudiced of me to be weary of our scaly allies. The group has decided to go out on an extended mission of exploration beyond our territory. Perhaps we’ll find great riches, new allies, valuable land, or (almost certainly) a lot of shenanigans and misery. I am glad to get a chance to escape the city. Despite my caring for my students, I prefer living free of restraints as they exist in responsibility to the city. It will be nice to be free of such commitment, at least for a little while.


Legacy Bungles

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